


You're My Muse

by tearsofashlynx



Series: You're My Muse [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Angst, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, M/M, Muses, Mutual Pining, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Depression, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags Are Hard, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:42:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27374398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsofashlynx/pseuds/tearsofashlynx
Summary: Leviathan had no purpose.His days of excitement and joy were eaten away by overwhelming loneliness, and after failing to end his own life, Levi felt more than useless. He felt like a twig on the forest floor, watching the trees around him blossom while he was continuously trampled on by regret, sorrow, and pain. No one could pull Levi out of this bubble of misery, it was as if he was fated to be this way for the rest of his ridiculously long life.No one apart from Simeon.The angel was empathetic, blissful, and kind, everything Levi wished he could be. It was this kindness that led him to Levi's aid that fateful day, the day he saw him sitting dangerously close to the edge of RAD's roof. Ever since he scooped the demon up in his arms, and shielded him with his delicate wings, Simeon swore that he would show Levi why he needed to live, why his life was far more important than he thought it was.But in this process of healing, Levi didn't just feel his heart warm up, but it also began to beat for someone else. For someone with a gentle touch and soothing voice, and perhaps that person felt exactly the same way.
Relationships: Leviathan/Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Series: You're My Muse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999558
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	1. His Neglected Heart

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't already, please read "A Disgusting Otaku Like Me" first!! This will make a lot more sense then, since that's meant to be an 'introduction' to this story!!
> 
> Thank you for your help with the dialogue @LEVIME0N you're the best!! uwu

An hour had passed since Leviathan's suicide attempt.

After almost an hour of releasing all of his pent-up emotions on RAD's rooftop, Levi was physically and emotionally exhausted. Simeon had to take matters into his own hands until Levi was in the right mindset to think for himself, so without making a fuss, Simeon snuck the demon out of school and back to his home. Someone was bound to have heard the commotion from the rooftop, and Simeon knew Levi wouldn't want to explain himself to anyone else so soon after such an emotionally impactful event. 

"It feels like I haven't been here in, well, forever," Simeon chuckled as he pushed open the door. Levi had an arm over his shoulders to steady himself, his eyes half-closed and his body swaying. The emotions that had plagued his heart and soul had served as his energy source, but he only needed that energy for one purpose: to end it all. Now that was out of the question, it was as if Levi had no other purpose, nothing else to do, therefore no more energy. "Which way is your room again? Let me help you there at least." 

But Simeon had done more than enough for Levi already, so much that the avatar of envy began to feel guilty. Someone as radiant and smart as Simeon should have been back at the academy, sharing his wits or bringing happiness to other students who deserved it more than Levi. But no, instead he was stuck dragging Levi around as if he was intoxicated with depression and unable to take care of himself.

Maybe he really was unable to take care of himself, just like he was unable to do _anything_ right.

"Hey, why- why are you being nice...?" Levi mumbled, clenching his fist by his side. " _Stop it!_ You know I'm someone worthless. I'm just- I'm just a stupid, y-yucky otaku of a hermit... a-a recluse with no social skills, so just-!" He raised his voice, only for it to gradually lower as his words began to eat away at the little happiness he had left. "Just... Just continue to look down on me, don't show me interest or kindness, I don't deserve those things..."

Simeon turned to face Levi and sighed softly. "It's this way, isn't it?" As if he hadn't heard a thing, the angel led Levi to his room, keeping a comforting grip on him the entire way there. Emotions were powerful things, and that outburst was surely out of Levi's control, Simeon made a mental note to address it later.

Pushing open Levi's door, he couldn't help but gasp. 

Levi's room was a mess, and not just any average mess. His precious, most valuable manga and merchandise lay all over the floor, as if he'd suddenly discarded what he felt most passionately about and didn't care for it in the slightest. Anyone knew that for an otaku, these collectibles were so precious they may as well have been encased in glass, so not even the owner themselves could touch them.

This wasn't Leviathan, he would never risk damaging what he spent so long collecting. 

Carefully, Simeon helped Levi climb into his bathtub, arranging pillows so he could squeeze in next to the demon. The tub was larger than it appeared, and they could comfortably fit, but only if they were cuddled up close. Simeon turned to his side, wrapping an arm around Levi whilst his other hand gently pat his head. Surprised by the sudden affection, but too tired to fight it, Levi rested his head on Simeon's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. 

"There, there," Simeon whispered, running his hand up and down Levi's back. "You're not worthless, you're not stupid, or yucky." His voice was calm and matter-of-fact, as if rather than trying to convince Levi of an opinion, he was simply just telling the truth. "You're so important, to me and to everyone, you know." 

"If- If I'm so important- if I'm so-" Levi choked on his words as tears began to spill down his cheeks again, tears he didn't think he even had left in him. "If- If I-" 

"Breathe, Leviathan." 

"N-No, stop that! It hurts..." Levi covered his ears. "It _hurts_! Why would- would you show _me_ all this warmth a-and- and kindness?! Don't- Don't do _anything_ for me, just pretend I don't exist and keep- keep living your life because all I'm gonna do is drag you down! L-Let me rot here all alone, without- without anyone noticing, please..!" 

"Levi-" Simeon himself began to tear up, though he tried his best to hide it. He held Levi tighter against his chest and shook his head. "I'll _never_ leave you all alone, _ever_. Don't ask me to do such things, my answer will always be the same. Until you see how incredible you are, and how much your life is worth living, I won't abandon my place by your side. I promise I'll help you see the world's bright colours like I do, right now it's all black and white for you, but you'll see- there's happiness and beauty in everything around you, you just need to- Levi?" The angel paused from his gentle rambling and raised an eyebrow, trying to take a look at Levi's face, which was hidden in his chest. He could feel the tears soaking through his shirt and onto his skin, but that didn't bother him in the slightest.

Levi yawned, moved closer to Simeon, and tilted his head up slightly. "Can you... if it's OK, can you tell me more?"

"Of course, just relax in my arms and close your eyes, OK?" Simeon chuckled softly, before rubbing Levi's back in a soothing manner. "Have you ever looked up at the sky here? Sure, there's no sun, but the sky is just as beautiful in the dark. The colour might look the same to you, but next time you look up, you should take a closer look at all the purples and blues that are mixed in there... And- have you ever been for a walk in the woods? I'll take you one day. The leaves are so bright and it looks like the trees are wearing big, bright wigs..."

For an hour, Simeon continued to talk about the beauty of the Devildom, eventually moving onto the Celestial Realm, and even the Human World. He told Levi about all the details he may have never paid much attention to, like the pretty spots on a ladybird or the unique wings of a butterfly, promising to show him all these things as soon as he could. Listening to Simeon's soft voice was like a lullaby, and within minutes, Levi had fallen into a deep, well-deserved slumber. 

But Simeon continued telling Levi stories of the world, hoping that the bright colours would find their way into his dreams to warm his neglected heart.


	2. Voices

_The world would be better off without a pushover like you. You try your best- and for what? The hammer of reality and the harsh truth only crashes down on you, and you crumble into a million pieces, only to patch yourself up and tell everyone that you're fine. You lie so much that you think you're fine too, letting that emotional guard down, that fake smile becoming used to its spot on that pathetic face. You don't want your friends to know that you're like this, right? You don't need to worry about it, you don't even have any friends! There's no one out there who values you, and you don't value yourself either, so do us all a favour and disappear. Do the world a favour and cease to exist- and take those emotions with you. Don't you dare explode, don't you dare crack and let them escape, because no one needs to hear it. Just shut up, curl up in some lonely, dark corner and don't even consider showing your face anymore._

Harsh voices plagued Levi's dreams, Simeon's calming voice was quickly overpowered. These voices were identical to each other and unmistakably familiar: it was his own, distorted and overlapping itself.

With a choked cry, Levi sat up in his bathtub bed, tears which he could barely feel trailing down his cheeks. The thoughts were nothing new, but hearing them like that only made them feel more true. The clock showed it was the middle of the night, the day before had felt like a hazy dream. Levi couldn't feel a thing. He couldn't feel his own trembling body, he couldn't make out his emotions either. He felt very much like an empty shell, a waste of space, someone who only cluttered the miserable world and made it even more depressing. 

Without the slightest hint of hesitation, he climbed out of his bed and left his room, making his way to the kitchen. He felt heavy, like his body had become concrete. 

There was no one there to watch- that was good. Levi didn't want anyone to witness it, because then he'd only burden them more, even after he was gone. 

Pulling open a drawer, almost as if he was programmed to do so, the avatar of envy fished out a knife. 

Would this thing even do what he wanted it to? Would it really make it all end, or would it just cause him more pain? _Was he even brave enough to go through with it? Was he too cowardly to end his own life- was he really that pathetic?_

"Levi-?"

Seeing his brother stood there with a knife would have been worrying enough for Beelzebub, but it was worse considering it was pointed at his own throat. Levi's eyes were puffy, tears had continued to gather and trickle down his cheeks since he woke up, as if his emotions were slowly leaking, so slowly they'd never stop. His gaze shifted slightly, and the brothers' eyes met.

Beelzebub didn't know what his brother had been going through, he had no idea, so he couldn't say he knew what Levi felt at that moment. Yet there was something about Levi's expression- his eyes were so sad, so _hopeless_. It was as if he was already a corpse, there was no life in him, but there was also a hint of desperation- as if Levi was begging him to leave with those pleading eyes.

"Levi, please put that down. It's dangerous."

"This- This is dangerous?" Levi croaked, a twisted smile forming as he did so. "This little thing? No, no- you have it all wrong, Beel. I'm the one who's dangerous!" Levi laughed sadly, pitifully. "I'm the one- haha! I should just- the loneliness- my mind-" His smile faded, his expression darkening.

"Then... I need the knife, to cut this cake from yesterday. Do you want to share with me...?" Beel's focus was on Levi's trembling hands, barely able to grip onto the handle. If he was quick enough, he could knock it away, but even a second too slow and it would be too late. Instead, he slipped a hand into his pocket, trying to remember where he needed to tap his D.D.D to call somebody. 

Levi appeared confused. "Just... take another one. There's more." The blade was just left hovering there, dangerously close to his neck. It was as if he was still trying to figure out if he’d go through with it, but he didn't want to put it down and ‘give up’ just yet. 

"But- you can't use that one, because- well-" Beel couldn't hide how panicked he was beginning to feel. He'd managed to call someone, but wasn't sure _who_.

The familiar sound of Ruri-chan's theme tune shattered the tense silence in the kitchen. Levi fumbled with the knife in surprise, injuring his hands before it slipped out of his grasp, clattering loudly on the kitchen floor. That sound- it was the only thing that kept him sane when he was suffocated by isolation, and it was playing then of all times? Why?

Beel sprang into action, kicking the knife away and pulling Levi close to his chest. Thankfully, his strong arms were no match for his older brother, who struggled helplessly for a few moments before going limp. Pained sobs caused his entire body to jolt, as Beel continued to hold him, his own eyes wide from shock and beginning to fill with tears. How could this have happened? To his own brother too!

They could have lost Leviathan that night, all alone on the cold kitchen floor. If Beel decided to eat the snacks in his room instead of from the kitchen, his brother could have died. If he said the wrong thing, that knife-

"LUCIFER!" The usually quiet gluttonous demon yelled, his heart hammering inside his chest. 


End file.
